There are certain rules by which real men live. Are you a real man? Or, to be more precise, are you masculine enough to know these rules that every man should know if he wants to manage his life? We decided to compile these twenty universal and unwritten rules that all people must respect if they want to maintain their masculinity and not lose their name in a male tribe. Men always hear “the rules” on the feminine side. Well, here are some rules from the male point of view. Rule 11: It is permitted to drink a fruity alcoholic beverage only when sunbathing on a tropical beach. And it`s delivered by a topless dummy. And it`s free. We live in a time when it is no longer appropriate to act on these impulses, but they are still present and influence much of what we feel and do. It is not superficial or determined by our upbringing, but the imprint of a survival strategy that has led us to become the dominant species on the planet.
Women have a similar, though different, set of primordial instincts. When one sex despises the other because of them, it means ignoring how we got to where we are. • Maturity • Funny and funny quotes • Untranslatable words • Wisdom sayings • Benefits for those over 60 Favorite (and funny) truths that have been pulled from our sites over the years. So put on a rabbit costume, take off the belt and learn the codes that apply to each man. 16. Oliver`s Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth does not collect the feet. 8. Law of Close Dating – The likelihood of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you`re with someone you don`t want to be seen with.
Rule 13: Unless you are in prison, never fight partially clothed or naked. It is better to leave foreign films to foreigners. (Unless it`s Bruce Lee or a war movie, or whatever they say anyway.) 6. Law of variation – If you change the lines, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now Rule 6: It is forbidden to complain about the free brand of beer in a friend`s fridge. However, you can complain at will if the temperature is not suitable. Rule 23: Never let a phone conversation with a woman last longer than you can have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch on the phone. If necessary, hang up. 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Never trust someone who tells you within five minutes of the meeting where they went to college. 10.
If you look like your passport photo, you probably need the trip. Christopher Columbus didn`t need instructions, and neither did we. Never cook with wine you don`t want to drink. Rule 8: During a road trip, the strongest bubble determines the pit stops, not the weakest. Subject: Rule 7: There is not a shred of evidence to support the idea that life is serious. 9. Living well is really the best revenge. Being unhappy because of a bad relationship or a previous relationship could simply mean that the other person was right about you. Rule 17: A man accompanied by a hot and suggestive woman must remain sober enough to fight.
The stock market, whether on Wall Street or on the stock market, is always in the news. We think you`ll want to see these “stocks” on stock news: 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. Sunday = sport. It`s like the full moon or the change of the tides. This will be the case. Rule 24: In the morning, after you and a girl who was “just a friend” have carnal sex with a drunken monkey, the fact that you feel weird and guilty is no reason not to nail yourself up again before discussing the big mistake it was. 35.
The only thing that unites everyone, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnicity, is that deep down, we ALL believe that we are good drivers. 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It allows you to detect an error when you do it again. Rule 14: Friends don`t let their friends wear Speedos. Never. 23. You won`t fart any more than your refrigerator. Rule 7: No man should ever be forced to buy a birthday present for another man.
In fact, remembering your friend`s birthday is even strictly optional. 11. Law of Theatre – People whose seats are furthest from the aisle always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to get food and beer, and who will leave early before the end of the performance. People in aisle seats arrive early, don`t move once, have long gang legs and stay until the bitter end of the show. The people in the aisles are also very grumpy people. We don`t remember the appointments. Mark birthdays in a calendar. Remind us of this frequently in advance and don`t assume that our forgetfulness won`t pass some sort of love test. 42K The Coffee Act – Once you sit down to a hot cup of coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that lasts until the coffee is cold.
8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person. Men believe that yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question. Satan loves parents who give children rat-tail haircuts. Rule 10: You should not flatulate in front of a woman until you bring her to orgasm. If you pinch her head under the blanket in an attempt to inflate the entertainment, she`s officially your girlfriend. 28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. Rule 11: Be kind to nerds. Chances are you`ll end up working for one. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want to do it.
Not both. If you already know better how to do it, do it yourself. We are not mind readers and never will be. Our lack of mental reading skills is no evidence of how little interest we give you. • Funny words of wisdom • Wise words • Jokes • Funny thoughts to think about Rule 25: It is acceptable that you drive your car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours. Rule 1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. Flame stickers do not fool passers-by into thinking your car is “hot”. (Thanks for reading this; Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know that we really don`t mind; It`s like camping.) 5. Law of alibi – If you tell the boss that you were late for work because you had a flat tire, you will have a flat tire the next morning. 15. No man has ever been shot while washing dishes.
Rule 12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical danger can you drive another guy crazy. Dogs with bandanas around their necks are not satisfied with the accessory. No group of people has worse hairstyles than men in government. Rule 22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are equal: both urinate, both stand in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. Rule 20: Never join your girlfriend or wife to chat with one of your friends unless she withholds sex until your response is received. 10. Law of Biomechanics – The severity of itching is inversely proportional to the range. • Meaning of words • Wisdom • Funny thought of the day • Rules of life • Fun defeats Rule 10: TV is NOT real life. In real life, people have to leave the café and go to work. 18. Wilson`s Law of Business Marketing Strategy – Once you find a product you really like, they`ll stop making it.
Don`t ask us what we`re thinking about unless you`re willing to discuss training shotguns or monster trucks. 4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 25. It`s not jeans that make your butt bigger.